What is Self-Care, Anyway?
- Serena Sackett
- Feb 1, 2024
- 3 min read
Are you one of those people who, when told to practice self-care, draws a total blank? You start imagining face masks, bubble baths, and some chocolate covered strawberries and begin to wonder, is that really the ticket to my well-being? Or you may even be tempted to laugh or roll your eyes. After all, you work constantly, you have a health condition that makes self-care a challenge, your life is consumed by taking care of your children or aging parents, or it sounds like a financial frivolity that you don’t have space for. Even worse, you may attempt to practice self-care and suddenly, it becomes yet another chore or “should”, another thing on your to-do list to fit in, and another thing that you can blame yourself for as you navigate through the side effects of burnout and exhaustion.
Even the definition of self-care can be daunting. The word in itself seems pretty direct and to the point, yet in 2011, a research article identified 139 different definitions of “self-care” among researchers, with varying meanings including behaviors contributing to physical health or anything that contributes to various aspects of well-being (Godfrey et al., 2011). But here’s the thing. You may already know what you need, and it may often feel more guttural than cognitive. It may come to you through a feeling rather than a lengthy thought examination.
Self-care is grabbing take out when there’s no time for anything else. It could be biting into the french fries you’ve been craving for the past three days, or it could be fixing yourself a hefty salad after not getting in your veggies for a stretch of time. It’s getting up and walking to a different room for a few minutes when you’re upset with a conversation to give yourself time to process. It’s leaving a party that you’re really not enjoying at all. It’s deciding not to spend as much time with someone who leaves you feeling down about yourself, and making more time for the people who make you feel valued and leave you feeling light and happy. It’s calling in sick from work when your headspace is as bad as a physical sickness. It’s asking your partner to watch the kids while you get to do that class you’ve been wanting to take for months. And yes, sometimes, it CAN be a bubble bath or finding a way to give yourself time for something as basic as a hygiene routine. It can be as brief, easy, inexpensive, or indulgent and elaborative as you want it to be.
It’s honoring your needs and following that up with action.
If self-care still seems too abstract, Elevate Family often reflects on Glasser’s five basic human needs as a helpful tool for analyzing wellness. Survival needs are our most basic needs and include sleep, food, shelter, water, etc. (Rowe, 2022). They may seem straightforward, but most of us struggle to hit at least some of these on a regular basis. Love and Belonging reflects the need to feel connected to and accepted by others (Rowe, 2022). Power and Self Worth stems from things that make us feel accomplished and empowered (Rowe, 2022). Fun and Enjoyment are tremendously significant to our wellness (Rowe, 2022). And finally, Freedom is the concept of being able to make decisions for ourselves and being free from others’ control or negative impacts (Rowe, 2022). Taking a moment to reflect on where you are with each of the basic needs can help reveal where you may benefit from taking action or implementing change for your well-being, or, in other words, how to “self-care”.
References
Godfrey, C., Harrison, M. B., Lysaght, R., Lamb, M., Graham, I. D., & Oakley, P. A. (2011). Care of self - care by other - care of other: the meaning of self-care from research, practice, policy and industry perspectives. International Journal of Evidence-based Healthcare, 9(1), 3–24.
Rowe, G. (2022, May 13). Choice Theory: 5 Basic Human Needs - William Glasser Institute UK. William Glasser Institute UK.
Comments